Areas of Expertise
queer affirming therapy
love and relationships
There are a million ways to be human & only one way to be authentic.
Honor self first.
Even in an age when concepts of authenticity and celebration of self are common talking points in mainstream and social media, there remains a void of evidence-based methods for achieving self-actualization.
Understanding the roles privilege and environment play in shaping who we are, my approach to authenticity calls clients into the deepest parts of themselves to explore the blueprint for how they have adapted so far and then to begin practicing new intentions that are accurate, compassionate, and optimistic.
An overlooked aspect of authenticity is joy. Borrowing from the work of Brene Brown we have learned there is no joy without gratitude. For many gratitude remains an attitude of thankfulness that marginalizes key aspects of authentic living.
If we only are only grateful for the bounty, how do we experience joy in the hardships or with traumatic histories? By learning to embrace the benefits of life’s hardships and limitations, our capacity to be grateful for them expands into the present where we can be joyous in who we are and who we’ve become.
Queerness is shaped by environment and lived experiences.
Queer experiences are largely intersectional experiences. From being a member of a cultural minority, female, bipoc, trans, and non-binary or simply being someone who sees life differently than the majority around them – queer people can embody many identities in a single experience.
We sometimes find ourselves living in spaces with strict expectations for what we should believe, how we should present our identities, how we should interact with our community, and who it is okay to love. Living counter to the norm creates minority stress and isolation which can be externalized towards other queer people. Heteronormative values are not exempt from queer culture and present themselves as shame, internalized homophobia, racism, abelism, and minority shaming.
Considering that we inhabit these intersectionalities of identity in heteronormative spaces instead of queernormative ones, it is imperative the LGBTQAAI+ community has access to queer affirming therapy where their ideas and identities can be explored, affirmed, and celebrated.
It’s easy to fall into and hard to hold onto.
Embracing what works for you.
Sometimes the problems we face are not necessarily in the relationships themselves, but rather are a product of our understanding of language and social constructs.
Rigidity, as we all know, is problematic. Reframing how we see our relationships and the terminology we use to describe them can alter our experiences and interactions as human beings. So, giving ourselves permission to speak and think differently about our relationships can free us to make connections with people who validate our most authentic self.
The consequence of unrealistic relationship expectations and rigid constructs may leave us evaluating our own relational connections against a model that is artificial and generalized for the masses. The problem with this approach to relational connections is there is no grey area left to explore, and few other ways of understanding our connections.
Consider the people you spend the most time with. The labels we assign and the expectations of these relationships can have an impact on our lives affecting our well-being and how we see ourselves. Without fixed and manufactured expectations, we can have more freedom in our relationships and adjust expectations accordingly. For example, holding onto a set of expectations for someone who is incapable of meeting them narrows the many other ways we might connect with them.
Beyond “relationships”, I encourage my clients to focus on and think about how they connect with people, and by what standard they are evaluating these connections. Relationships often come with labels that may suggest we should have attained a certain level of accomplishment or stability in our lives. When we evaluate our relationships against these expectations, many of us are left feeling as if we are failing in our relationships.
Let’s talk openly and honestly about your concerns with long distance relationships, long-term partnerships that exist outside of “marriage”, continuing a relationship after an affair, reconnecting with a partner after separation, loving more than one partner at a time, open relationships and redefining infidelity.
Our time together can be used to work on many concerns.
Concepts of Gender
- Rethinking masculinity
- Embracing gender fluidity
- Trans and NB identities
Impact of Trauma
- Religious/Spiritual Trauma
- Sexualize Trauma
- Family Trauma
- Relational Trauma
Queer Affirming Therapy
- Empowered Living
- Social Justice & Equity
- Relationships and Love
- Mid-life Dating
- Queer/Straight Sexuality
- Career Changes
- Grief and Loss
- Hard Resets & Starting Over
Get the help you’ve been looking for.
Schedule a free consultation online today.
There’s no expectation attached.